As a full service blog, it is our mission here to keep you informed
of the latest scientific discoveries so you can be ready for whatever the
future holds. To that end, we call attention to two recent discoveries
that have come to our attention that could have a tremendous impact on
First, scientists have reported a new radiowave burst from outer
space called a Fast Radio Burst. It occurs every 157 days, not 156 as first
thought, and comes from a dwarf galaxy, not Sun Valley, Idaho, some 3
billion light years away. Sun Valley, of course, is much closer, but the folks
there spend too much time lollygagging around drinking vodka martinis
and watching Jeopardy to send radio waves forth.
Second, scientists report that there might be 36 intelligent
civilizations in our Milky Way Galaxy. It is unclear whether this total
includes Earth, but I suspect not because, well, you know about how our
intelligence has gotten us to where we are now. The scientists, however,
report that due to the time and distance involved in communicating with
these 36 civilizations, we may never actually know if they exist or ever
I, myself, have been in contact with these civilizations and I can tell
you that the reason they have not come forth to reveal themselves is that
they have been practicing social distancing.
While some might consider 3 billion light years a bit much,
I am sure that once we reach stage 4 in the reopening scenarios, these
civilizations will come much closer even, perhaps, joining us at the outdoor
patios for an adult beverage or two. They will be wearing masks for sure
but, because they are so funny looking, it may take a day or two for our
mask manufacturers to come up with the right design.
Communicating with our alien friends has been made much
easier, I can attest, because they have Zoom.
Zoom was invented by multi-headed aliens so they could all
get in the conversation at the same time. A problem arose, however,
when some of them developed multi-personality disorders. You can
see how there could never be a screen big enough to handle multi-headed
aliens with multiple personality disorders.
Fortunately this problem was solved when they invented
a mute button for the video. And this led, of course, for a mute button
on the audio. Things could have worked out much quicker if they
yelled at each other, but they didn’t figure that out until recently.
The aliens, by the way, think we’re pretty funny looking, at least
me, so it is a good thing that I wear a mask all the time.
I have heard them talking amongst themselves when discussing
us and they are making plans to drop in on us soon.
Unfortunately, they are aiming for Sun Valley. I have already
sent them directions on how to make a vodka martini. But they still need
help with Final Jeopardy.